i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Randomize
