Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
