Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize