Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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