I am spending my child support on dildos
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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