Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
