Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
