She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize