Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
