so that wasnt chicken after all
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
My vagina is officially offended.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
