How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
