Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
