if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
