Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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