I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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