so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
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I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
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How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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