it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
