You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
