Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
