i think my mom watched the whole time
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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