i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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