didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I need help removing her.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
