I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
