you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
