This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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