from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
