Where are you?
In a non slutty way
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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