Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
