I can't breathe out the right side of my face
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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