theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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