i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Randomize
