i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
