I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
