idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
