I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
