I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
