i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
