whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
