The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
