I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize