..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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