dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
