Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
She said her name was "party"
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
