I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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