Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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