Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Randomize
