Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
