my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Why can't burritos get me drunk
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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