..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
