i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
