I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
