Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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