We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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