Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
