Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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