You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I need a burrito and a hug.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
