A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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