i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
