i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
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